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Nov. 24th, 2009 @ 02:23 am I can't sleep incorporated presents....
I normally show no mercy to those individuals that waste my time by trying to sell me stuff that I don't need or in this case try to draw me into their pyramid scheme. Because it is a friend of a friend I decided to be a little bit more diplomatic about it.

Even without getting totally sarcastic and hostile this would-by smooth talking sales person had very little ground to stand on when they try to draw me into their pyramid scheme by renaming thing so it doesn't sound like a scam. This person tries to appeal to me by showing me what the average person today really needs to open a window for their sales pitch which totally back fired on them. Apparently, not being in debt, and doing very well financially tends to shut them up pretty quickly. Also, by saying I don't need any more spare time than what I already have also was a good conversation stopper. Even if these things aren't true for everyone, by answering the question in the following manner will shut them up fairly quickly without being outright nasty and rude.

I gave a iffy response which gave them a window to run through their entire sales pitch. The last time another person ask me the same question; well it turned out to be a scum bag chiropractor which I walked out of his office without using his service.

What I learn how I would handle this encounter a little differently in the future is that - Most of them will ask a very generalize, and yet relevant question to just about everyone to establish rapport, like 'Do you want to be healthy?' or 'do you consider yourself a healthy person?'. If you want to shut down their sales pitch like that is - answer their question with an emphatic 'NO'. Just in case that's no convincing enough, give them some examples to back it up. 'I like to drink so hard, I get hammered on a daily basis, if I don't black out it is a plus, I like doing coke too. I hate cooking, the greasier the fast food the better. My life philosophy is the hell with tomorrow, and live for today!!, health products are for sissy...'. I don't think they have a well plot out response when someone respond to their question with no regard for their health.

I'm generally not this nice to people that runs these scams, but if it is necessary as it was the case I can stifle their bullshit without being nasty.
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Nov. 14th, 2009 @ 08:23 pm mandatory one hour WHIMIS training
State of Mind: sarcastic
Haunting the world with: Prince 'Purple Rain'
I had my mandatory one hour WHIMIS training last Friday. While the uninspired instructor read word for word from the powerpoint presentation on screen, I drifted off into sarcastic land imagining the possibilities of how I can applied my newly learn knowledge in my current workplace environment....

An Untrained Office Worker: AAAHHHH, someone spilled the entire pot of coffee on the floor!! OH MY GOD, what are we gonna do??
A trained Office Guy: Activate code brown, seal off the coffee station, there's gonna some pretty cranky people trying to get into the disaster area.
Untrained Office Worker: Do we have an emergency back-up plan to avoid a widespread grouchieness?
A trained Office Guy: Why yes, go take out the instant coffee in the supply room, and go to the lunchroom and mix it with hot water that should hold them off until we can get this area properly clean up.

A Paper pushing clerk: Uh my stamp pad is running dry... I'll just pour this bottle of red ink into the stamp pad.
WHIMIS watchdog: NO, NO, NO!! There's no label on that bottle of ink. HOw do you know that content in bottle is ink. Worst yet, it may look like red ink, but it is actually blue ink. Next thing you know, you going to be using a purple stamp. You are going to create such a mass confusion when you stamp everything 'confidential' in purple ink. The receiver will be sending all of the outgoing mail back saying that a confidential stamp cannot be stamped in purple. Imagination the widespread interdepartmental territorial battle that can create over what color is acceptable when you stamp on the word 'confidential' because you assumed a bottle of unlabeled chemical is red ink?

Trained worker: Quick seal off the mens room Joe just took a dump!!
An Unsuspecting Washroom user: Why?
Trained worker: the unbearable toxic stench that came out of his ass is so strong it will make you want to stop breathing just to avoid it!! Before we had WHIMIS training everyone leaves the washroom gasping for air. It will smell like that for the next 4 hours. Now I know that in order to protect the well being of everyone's olfactory lobes no one is going into the mens room until it is properly aired out!
An Unsuspecting Washroom user: That could have been a disaster for our noses if it weren't for you.
Trained worker: I will bring this up at our next workplace safety meeting to have a warning sign up in on the washroom door. "Caution! Please defecate in a well ventilated area".
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Sep. 23rd, 2009 @ 09:59 pm Random observations of my surroundings - real, virtual or otherwise....
Haunting the world with: the birthday massacre - 'walking with Stranger'
These days I am enjoying the walk home from work given that this year the weather seems to be one month behind since April.  I always take the back route because it is shorter and a much more relaxing walk.  I also get the pleasure of watching the neighborhood high school football team practice as I walk by.  Is it just me or is the coach taking it easy on these high school kids.  *here comes the old man rant* When I was in high school practicing with the high school team means that every drill is done at full speed, full contact, military style/boot camp like exercises in between.  I went to three different high schools in 2 different cities, and it is pretty much the same. Everyday that I walked by they are doing their football drill at half speed, minimal contact, walking back casually after the drill. The last time I check that's not how football is played. People will play the way they practice.

I don't know maybe they are catering to the 21st century reality that kids are more likely to be obese so they don't want to push them too hard and risk putting half the team in the infirmary.  I suppose its better than these same kids sitting on their asses playing nintendo, and eating junk food at same time. 

It really cost me, but now I am the proud owner of an out of print switchblade symphony scrapbook CD & the limited edition red vinyl for serpentine gallery.  Yes it is one of those moments where passion overrule sound reasoning.  The sad irony is Switchblade Symphony made the one time only CDs for the 'fans' who made it to their shows. Now these 'fans' are profiting from the band's popularity despite not being together for 10 years.  I have noticed 3 different parties trying to sell the same CD for about 10-20 times the original price. To be totally honest, I think it much more meaningful to have a rare CD from a band that I love than to try to profit from it. Even if I make $1000 for it, the money will be gone in 1-2 months. The CD however will last a lifetime.

The two out of print birthday massacre demo CD on the other hand, I have never been able to find one of those overpriced or not.  Does that mean that birthday massacre fans are more loyal?  I guess if I post this question on the switchblade symphony fan sites, I'll likely start some serious drama.  But I did see a fake demo CD on Ebay, and the crook was asking for something like $100.  This swindler failed to realized one very important thing. The hardcore Birthday massacre fans tend to be very knowledgeable. By the time I saw this time someone already reported him, and this was all over the fan sites warning others.  The not so knowledgeable ones that see this wouldn't buy it either because they don't like them enough to spend that kind of money.

Looks like it will be another busy weekend.
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Sep. 15th, 2009 @ 06:22 pm I wrote this over 5 years ago...when I first started to develop my writing style
State of Mind: nostalgic
Haunting the world with: Switchblade Symphony - 'Anmorata'

The advantage of a Gothic Dress Code

Only allowing employees to wear Black clothing, & black make-up has many advantages:  This way your employees don’t have to worry about the stress of what color lipstick or pants goes with their new summer shirt.   Any combination will always match, and it can potentially save your workers from the embarrassment of wearing outfits that clash to work. There is no longer a need to worry about coordinating colors to what season it is anymore.  It is the color black 365 days a year!!  This can save you in decreased productivity of time spent trying to decide what to wear amongst all an employee's colourful clothing.

The make-up rule above applies to male and female, this way you can avoid costly lawsuits from men who want to wear makeup.

For the people who is always sitting in front of a computer, wearing a corset is highly recommended. This will ensure that they sit with proper posture thereby avoiding excessive hours of lost in work time due to being off on WCB resulting from sitting with bad posture.

Employees are encourage to wear 6 inch heel shoes or higher, and it is mandatory if you‘re short. This way the management can save money on items such as height adjustable chairs, and step ladder.

Wearing a collar with a  chain attached is mandatory so the employee can be locked down to their workstation.   This accessory has proven to substantially decrease down time due to the employees wandering around and socializing with others, taking extra breaks or using the washroom incessantly.

Not to mention that your employees are always ready to go to a funeral at anytime if someone in the office dies, especially if it is a hazardous work environment.  No need to waste valuable time in needlessly going home to change.

Okay all you managers out there, it’s time to re-write the conventional office dress code. The Gothic dress code can save your company money, increase productivity, and decrease time away from work.  Looking dark and scary has many advantages other than looking fabulous…What more can a management team ask for? 
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Sep. 8th, 2009 @ 10:03 pm The name of these surcharges should be renamed....
Current Location: home
Haunting the world with: slayer & therion
Administrative fee - When you buy a new car from a GM dealer, you pay the advertised price of the vehicle + GST, PST & there is also a $250 'administrative fee'.  There is no good explanation given as to why this hidden extra charge is levied against the buyer.  This fee should be renamed the 'ass kissing fee'.  Essentially, it is like the buyer is saying "oh, I want to kiss the guy that invented GM 's ass really bad, but since he is not here, I'll do the next best thing and give him another $250'.

Commission Fee - Real Estate Agent or Realtors make a percentage (like 5%) from the final sales price of the property that s/he managed to facilitate a sale.  A typical real estate agent whines and moan every time the client ask him/her to do something extra or the realtor feels that your request will increase the time the property will be on the market.  The commission fee should be renamed to the 'Cry Baby surcharge' or "I don't want to do any work and get paid' fee. That's what you are essentially paying for when you enlist the help of a realtor to sell your property especially if the client expresses how they want things done to protect their interest.

Convenience charge - at Ticketbastard they add on a convenience charge for individuals that make their purchase on the Internet. While most other companies sell the same product at a cheaper price on the Internet versus a sale in their store, ticketbastard does the opposite.  What is so convenience about waiting on the Internet indefinitely to get through which is just like making a purchase at their outlet?  Plus the buyer still has to go to the outlet to pick up the tickets in other to avoid more shipping and handling fees. Shouldn't this be called the 'inconvenient' fee given that one has to go through the trouble in the virtual and the real world as opposed to just in the real space?

Environmental Fee - When one is responsible and take old computer, electronic parts, and batteries to the proper disposable sites they are levied with an 'environmental' or "disposable" fee for being environmentally responsible. This of course will lead to a lot of people taking a much cheaper, more convenient and environmentally unfriendly route by dumping this waste in the garbage bin in the alley!  Of course this can have a much more toxic consequence to the environment.  Shouldn't our government calling this extra charge the 'toxic' fee?

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Sep. 3rd, 2009 @ 06:40 pm The recession is wrecking havoc on our Pretty Life
Haunting the world with: jakalope - 'Pretty Life'
It seems everyday there's a new study in the media about how this recession has affected just about aspect of our daily lives. So far we have studies that have shown that this recession affected how well we sleep, the ability to be healthy, enjoying life, how we cut our hair, shave our butt, scratch our crotch....One would thing that they covered everything...but the media seem to forget to look at a couple of trends.

Here are some more surprising facts that just got unearthed by our 'recession experts'.  With the continuous rise in the unemployment rate. More and more people are alarmingly spending within their means. One financial expert admits that this can have a serious consequence on the credit card industry.  He further states that if this fiscally responsible spending trend continues any longer, credit card companies will go out of business at an unprecedented rate.  An insider who spoke under the condition of anonymity said that credit card companies are working around the clock to come up with a more alluring marketing scheme to get people to spend frivolously on their credit card again despite the new proposed legislation.

A sociologist have discovered that relationships between neighbours in most suburban neighborhoods have substantially improved during these tough times.  Gone, are the days of two families battling it out for upsmanship supremacy as just about every residents is calling a truce with their neighbors over these status symbol warfare.  They have traded in all their 'unaffordable gadgetry' for a more practically priced item for their backyard as well as in their home.  When asked, one resident said he was rather surprised at how everything that he owes now is actually useful.  He did however emphasized that this is a truce, and one day he will be the king of having all the latest and greatest things for his home.

One industry that financial experts have forgotten to take into account is the children toy industry.  With the average family taking a big hit in the wallet, they have to be more creative in how to keep their children entertained without breaking their piggy bank.  Desperate parents who can no longer keep up with buying their kids the latest craze in toyland have resorted to spending more time with their children.  One child psychologist have notice a baffling trend of parents spending much more time with their kids compared to a few years ago.  Beleagured toy industry executives have call on leading child behavioral experts to figure out how to get kids to be more demanding and throw more effective tantrums to stem the tide in these ever so lean times.

Tomorrow we'll have an in-depth report on how the recession have affected the well being of earthworms, as well as how these hard times have caused the average person to pick these nose more.  We'll also have a report on how in the last two months Exlax have recorded record earning, apparently the deeper we are in recession the more likely we'll be constipating. See you next time!
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Aug. 25th, 2009 @ 08:35 pm Conservative government inspire me to write...
I heard on the news the Conservatives are getting tough on crime especially against drug dealers, and these criminals will get a much longer mandatory minimum sentences than ever before.  news.sympatico.msn.ctv.ca/abc/home/contentposting.aspx If only they'll pass this bill then the ghost of the reform party will surely rejoice in a celebration of epic proportion. Remembered how the reform's leader Preston Manning's main electron platform was they were going to cut tax and at the same time increase the length of the jail sentence on criminals. Well this post-reform party have gotten the cutting taxes part done already.

Mr Manning and Mr Harper or whoever that represents them never bother making all their voters aware of what this utopia that they bring will look like. Let me fill in the blank - this is what our society will look like if the 'get tough on criminal' bill is passed.

Reporter: Mr public safety minister, our penal system has been over crowded for years before this law has passed, now we don't have enough prison facility to house all these criminals who are recently convicted with mandatory jail sentence.  Currently there is a long waiting list for convicts to get a jail space. What do you propose we do for the newly convicted in the meantime?

Public Safety Minister: Well, I'm really proud of our justice system, but we seem to ran into some difficulties with our creditors approving new a loan to build more correctional facilities, but our lawyers are working 24/7 to get this resolved, and we should have some new facilities ready in the near future.  In the meantime we are putting all these new convicts in house arrest.  We have given their roommates the authorities to bear arm to enforce the law on them.

Reporter: That can take a really long time for the lawyers to get funding in place, I understand that the government is already in debt due to income tax cuts and injecting financial stimulus into the economy is there any way you can get more funding elsewhere so we can have the proper correctional facilities for all of our convicted criminals?

Public Safety Minister: This jail cell shortage crisis is a priority in this government's agenda.  I'll be having an emergency cabinet meeting to see if we can reallocate some funding from other programs and redistribute it towards building new jail cells, and hiring new correctional workers, & prison guards.

Reporter: you mean like taking some funding away from healthcare, child care, post secondary, art & culture program funding

Public Safety Minister: I can't say we haven't have that meeting yet, but they are a definite possibility, putting criminal behind bars is our number 1 priority

Reporter: That can upset a lot of law abiding citizens who depend on these services....

Public Safety Minister: I'll tell you this, if any of these law abiding citizens get out of line. Our justice system will toss them in jail where they will have NO access to any social programs. Let that be a warning to those who thinking of protesting....

Reporter: WELL, that's all the time we have today, thank you for your time Public Safety Minister for your thoughts.



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Aug. 21st, 2009 @ 08:15 am some ironies, urban myth, random thoughts, etc....
It strange how people refuse to go into a run down and unsightly looking establishment like the zoo/Ozzy's but instead pack into more upscale looking places like Whiskey Dix (formerly the Empire), and Dead oh I mean Alive at the district. Even though there are more shootings and people getting killed in these supposedly nicer establishments than the sketchy looking ones.

People are scared of people dressed in black trench coat with pale makeup yet these are the most wimpy people around and will almost never get into a fight.

It's odd how people avoid walking through Main and Higgins because the street is decrepit and overrun with vagrants yet there's hardly any violent crimes that happened there compared to other parts of the city's downtown.

The Osbourne Junction is unfairly named 'Confusion Corner'.  There are so many other intersections that are equally or more confusing and just as poorly designed.

Winnipeg has one of the best art and cultures scenes to offer compared to other Canadian cities per capita yet the traffic design are still stuck in the 1960s, and the locals are refusing to accept new designs that are more appropriate for this century.

In baseball, the home run is the most exciting play the game. Yet, the announcers in the major league baseball feel the need to constantly come up with new nicknames when they see a player hit a homerun like jack, bomb, blast, dinger (wtf?), sloburnknocker (what does this mean anyways??), etc. The boring part of baseball ie base on balls or flyball outs they don't invent new words for them. Shouldn't they make the boring part of baseball more exciting?

In professional basketball, the commentator calls a 3 point shot attempt 'from downtown'. The word downtown means in the middle of a particular region/area. Yet The shooters are usually shooting the 3 point shot around the perimetre of the basketball court rather than in the centre of the basketball court.  It should be more appropriate if the commentator is saying 'makes the basket from the suburbs!!'.

People automatically assumes bands with horrific names ie the birthday massacre, theater of tragedy sings minimalistic thrash metal with gratuitious violent lyrics.  As it turns out neither of these assumptions are true. Listen to the music people before passing judgement or you'll miss out!

Most people assume headbangers are people with no class and the scum of society. Yet underground metal music ie mercyful fate, iron maiden, epica, king diamond, rainbow, etc...produced music which is far more complex in their song composition than your average song from Celine Dion or Mariah Carey. These metal artist produced music that more resemble classical music than these supposedly more classy main stream artist.
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Jun. 15th, 2009 @ 07:36 pm Stephen Harper is too busy writing campaign ads for the liberals....
State of Mind: sarcastic
Stephen Harper is too busy writing campaign ads for the liberals....and not surprisingly he doesn't have enough time to write one for his own conservative government. Since I have more time on my hands, I figured I will write him one that's very similar to the one he penned for his main rival.

Stephen Harper is a bully, and he likes to insult opposition MPs. If re-elected he will make the parliament his personal playground.  He'll make sure that airing the opposition's MPs dirty laundry is his top priority so a debate in the house of common is more entertaining than news from the National Inquiry.

Stephen Harper:  is JUST PANDERING.
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May. 29th, 2009 @ 09:06 pm GMC Commercials don't lie
Current Location: Not at a GMC dealer
State of Mind: cynical
Haunting the world with: Metallica - my friend of misery
Don't know if any of you seen the latest GMC commercials where they have Howie Long as the main character telling the viewer how tough and roomy a GMC vehicle is.  Getting Howie as a representative for GMC is a great fit. Howie was arguably the best Defensive Tackle in NFL from 1981-93, but not anymore since he retired.  GMC may be on top of the world 20-30 years ago, but now like Howie is a shadow of his former self. Imagine what happens if we put Howie back in his old position in a NFL game at the age of 48, I bet you anything he'll look real bad, just like when you drive a GM vehicle.

It is no surprise that GMC is suffering immensely at the hands of this recession, and they deserve every bit of misery that's handed it to them.  During the boom time in the earlier part of this decade GM was doing very well, and the people that represented them got really arrogant.  When a customer walks into a GMC dealer, their salespeople always use pressure tactics when I was talking to a sales guy about buying a new car, and I told him 'I'll think about it'. His response was 'Well I thought you will buy it if it is a good deal'.  I asked him to drop the price by $5,000 he refused. Well that's a good deal to me asshole.

Another GM salesman calls me up a day or two later after we couldn't agree on a price, he said 'I like you to come in again and we can renegotiate'. I was naive enough to believe his words, and he responded by saying my manager wouldn't allow me to drop the original price at all, but I'll get you a Chinese speaking salesmen to tell you the exact same thing.   That's not negotiating that's call pressure sales tactic, and then insulting me further by saying I can't understand English? That's really classy.  In retrospect maybe he thought I couldn’t speak the Chinese language that well, and they can con me into buying it at their price, but whatever that scumbag was trying to pull didn't work.  The shitty thing was that I couldn't tell the Chinese speaking guy to fuck off and die because I really don't how to say that in Chinese.  But I did tell the English speaking scum bag 'thanks for wasting my time, now paid for the gas that I otherwise wouldn't have consumed'.

Going to get your car serviced by a GMC dealer, customers will also be dealing with arrogant front desk guys. Aside from charging a premium price for a simple oil change. They broke promises on things that they say they will do and don't follow through. They cannot or will not follow simple instructions like 'don't call me at home when you are done, call me at work'.

They have sinned in every way on treating the customer with respect, and now the automobile gods are punishing GMC for the evils they committed.  Not very religious minded, here's an atheist view. They are getting their ass handed to them by the bust portion of the boom bust economic cycle.  GMC has been producing mediocre cars for quite a few years now and employing the scum of the earth salespeople to sell them.  People do remembered being treated badly if GMC treated people with respect perhaps former customers would be more loyal to them, and they may not be so hard hit.  Or how about a scientific look, Darwinism states '... it is the survival of the fittest, the organism that fails to adapt will be extinct'.  Well they are on the brink of extinction for not adapting to an ultra competitive market by continuously producing inferior vehicles coupled with bad service, and at the same time, the other organisms in their niche have found ways to make better vehicles. No matter how one look at this, GMC is about to get annihilated by this recession and it did not happened by chance.  Oh, I forgot to mention what GMC stands for 'Gross Mistreatment of Customers'.
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Apr. 30th, 2009 @ 02:50 am Because Weird Al is my idol....
State of Mind: restless
Haunting the world with: Metallica - the four horsemen
The latest GMC commercial goes something like this 'GMC is making a comeback...."  Hmm, lets inject some realism into this.....

GMC needs a miracle!!
Come on taxpayers we need another 1 billion dollar that you don't have...
come and buy a new GMC it has been voted number 5 in its class.

And while they are at it...Let's invent a time machine and go back to 1950 when GMC is strong and profitable especially after we bombed the shit out of Japan, and Germany got wasted too....hmm Maybe George Bush should of invaded Japan and Germany instead of Iraq and Afghanistan.
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Apr. 22nd, 2009 @ 10:57 pm FAILED
Inspired by the website that my friends introduced to me...Here's a few more.

Chinese immigrants to this country have an insatiable need to give themselves an original English name.  Rather than consulting a baby name book, they try to come up with a name that no one have. There may be a very good reason why no one name their kids with these words.

One salesperson is named Pansy Wong - not sure if it is a guy or girl
A car salesman at the newest Calgary Toyota dealer is named Cougar can't remembered the last name. It would have been better if it was a woman
Another saleswoman has a given name of Panda
Not to be outdone a hair dresser's first name is Nutty
Although they failed at their intended goal of coming up with the coolest name, they succeeded in getting countless mockeries and laughs from randomly advertisement readers that understand English words.   Only if they were here with these names while they were in Junior high...
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Apr. 21st, 2009 @ 07:07 pm the horror show
I have been unable to decide whether to go see the birthday massacre in another town specifically Minneapolis for over a month now.  Now I got more options to ponder.  They just added another gig in Toronto.  The more that I think about it, the more I want to go to the Toronto gig than the one in Minneapolis.  And fuck they skipped Winnipeg again.

Aside for pragmatic reasons such as I will enjoy a better currency rate in TO, and supporting the Canadian rather the American economy, Toronto shows are always the most special.  Toronto is the place where it all began some 10 years ago before they become known internationally.  In Toronto around 2000-2001 is where they played local clubs, and slowly developing a small, but hardcore fan base.  Some of those fans are still around so there's a special energy in the air whenever they come back to play in Toronto.  Who knows maybe while I'm standing in line, I get to talk to someone that's been a fan longer than I have been, and that would be so awesome.  I usually end up meeting another crazy fan at their shows in the past.

I seen them played in Calgary in 2005, San Jose in 2007, Minneapolis in 2008 so far.   This will be the fourth time.  That's another reason why I'm hesitant to go see them again in a city that I don't think have a huge or a fanatical fan base like Toronto.  The only advantage of going to Minneapolis is that it is about 700 km closer, but I'm sure no one wants to take a 7 hrs drive to see them played.  The Toronto show is on May 17, the may long weekend.  While everyone is freezing their ass off at some camp site; I'll likely be warm seeing one of the most amazing act live. I don't need to take any vacation another bonus.

Just like other shows in Toronto, they encourage fans to dress up. It is like no other show. You see fans dressed up in these unbelievable birthday massacre themed costumes. In this latest edition it has a death theme.  All right! it is Halloween night arriving five months early.  I got enough airmiles to get there too. I'm sure I won't convince anyone that it is worth a trip to Toronto to the birthday massacre. It is worth the trip to see the best show of the year. 
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Apr. 20th, 2009 @ 09:35 pm My review of the movie 'shoot em up'
( You are about to view content that may not be appropriate for minors. )
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Apr. 13th, 2009 @ 07:20 pm 2008 customer frustration award goes to....
This award goes to the companies that best exemplify giving what the customer doesn't want in ways that is not only innovative but unimaginable.  These companies managed to get the most patient customers throwing temper tantrums and making a scene in front of a crowd.

Second runner up goes to Investors Group (IG).  Most companies expect the customers to let them know if they change their mailing address. If the customer does this properly, they will get their tax receipt and other mails in a timely manner.  Investors Group came up with an innovative idea to mess up this intuitive agreement between customer and their bank. Investors Group arbitrarily decided that it is not good enough for the customer to let them know that they changed their address, but the customer has to change their address to each funds that investors group managed for them individually.  Of course to make the frustration truly effective, this was not communicated to the customer in any way beforehand.  The customer naturally have no idea that first they need to call more than one place, and who to call to change their address for additional funds that they possesses until it is too late.  IG has mastered the art of the more funds the customer has with them, the more frustrating it is for the customer.  Sending the funds to the customer in separate mails and at different times also deserve mention for inducing frustration.  Unfortunately, succumbing to pissed off customer's request to be removed from repeated harassing emails to buy their crappy product led to a 2nd runner up standing.

First runner up goes to Bank of Montreal (BMO).  BMO uses the same frustration tactics employed by IG, but BMO decided to take it one step further...   They are truly dedicated to the art of frustrating customers in ways that most companies will not dared.  They devise an automated phone menu that lies to the customers.  This ingenious method will surely waste customer valuable time which they don't have because customers always believe everything they hear on an automated message from the branch.  This is how it works: the message on their phone system clearly identifies 'Welcome to BMO Kilcona Branch please select from of the following menu...'. No matter what option is selected, the call is redirected to a representative at their head office rather than someone at the Kilcona branch.  All customers will expect to talk to someone from the branch; imagine their frustration when they are talking to the rep from head office that have no idea how to change their appointment without redirecting their call.  It takes the automated message over a minute to go over all of the possible options a customer can select is also worth mentioning.   By defying cognitive research findings that a human's typical short term memory only holds 3-5 pieces of new information at a time, BMO deliberately places over 10 pieces of distinct choices in their phone menu making it impossible for anyone to remember all of the possibilities which guaranteed frustration from the mildest manner individuals.  By not heeding customer suggestions to change this misleading and user unfriendly phone system ensure them a first runner up standing in the customer frustration award.  Like investors group BMO yielded to angry customer's request for not disturbing them with useless product promotions, and surveys cost BMO the 2008 customer frustration award.

2008 customer frustration award goes to a company that is matched by no other company; they have customer's frustrated in every possible way.  Investment Specialist do not return phone calls after a sale has been made no matter how urgent or frustrated a customer is.  Even the first and second runner up could not sustain this unparallel level of customer frustration.  Combined with charging customers with unfounded service fees by hiding customer contract agreement in their complicated levels of  bureaucracy were not even attempted by BMO & IG which puts this company over the top.  This organization succeeded in where all others have failed, they did not succumbed to repeated customer pressure to stop calling them for annoying sales promotions, survey's etc.  And to put the icing on the cake... when a customer wants to change basic information such as their phone number. It requires three calls in their level of bureaucracy before someone can change this information whereas most other companies only needs one call. By showing no regards for the customers' interest, defying their request and trying to rip them off have secured this company a place in frustration history. The 2008 customer frustration award goes to TD Canada Trust!!
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Apr. 7th, 2009 @ 08:11 pm Because I'm grown up now....
Current Location: my home
Haunting the world with: lacuna coil - 'the ghost woman and the hunter'
I'm a totally different person than when I was 17, 18.  I learned from my youthful mistakes; now I'm much more savvy and grown up. I'm a responsible adult free from my erratic adolescent ways.  Here's some example:

In grade 11, I put my head down on my desk and fell asleep in math class, and I was kicked out of class so I could learn the errors of my way.  Now I learn to fall asleep at my desk sitting upright so it appears from all unsuspecting colleagues that I'm awake and working away.

When I was 18 I got caught illegally parking in some private parking lot which resulted in a hefty fine.  Nowadays I make sure I have an unwritten clandestine contract with the parking lots that I'm not suppose to park in.  It goes something like this: I parked in their parking lot that sez - 'customer parking only'. I go into their establishment and buy a coffee at 8 in the morning, and comeback 9 hrs later to get my car. Hey guess what, I don't get parking tickets anymore.

When I was 18-19 I used to drive 100 km/h in a 50 zone with my buddies because we were bored. Now I do speed to avoid being late for meetings so it looks like I'm really responsible.

When I was in university I got drunk and had to go to class hung over the next day. Now I just take a sick day, and stay home.  It pays to be healthy!

I never got a front row seat at a concert when I was underage. Now I always get the front row spot at every concert. Hey, I'm old I can't hear as well as I used to!

My first bar experience was that I was terrified of talking to all the strangers around me. Now I talked to everyone including the DJs at the local bar so they will play better music for all to enjoy. I'm a much more charitable person now!

See I'm a totally different person now. I am so much more wiser, responsible and caring than when I was 18.
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Apr. 3rd, 2009 @ 09:50 am I get paid to stay home and do nothing....
I get paid a full day's wage, but I don't need to do any work whatsoever. I think that's the sweetest deal I got from work in a long time.  You see my company is in the midst of moving our office to a new location, and all of the workstation, PC, and phones needs to be put together and reconfigure. The movers and IT can't set everything up in a day.  Monday will be my first day of work at the new location by Concordia hospital; hopefully the transition will be a smooth one.

Rather than sitting at home, and possibly doing nothing productive and spending an inordinate amount of time on getting the latest fix of drama on Facebook, I am going to go sandbagging this afternoon. I'm sure I'll get more out of that than spending more time on the internet.

Hey, I managed to make a post without talking about the state of the economy or the birthday massacre. Until the last sentence anyways...
:))
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Mar. 25th, 2009 @ 08:39 pm My top thirty favourite songs in no particular order
Haunting the world with: 'hell awaits' slayer
1.  'A rose for the dead' by Theatre of Tragedy
2. 'Enslaved' by diva destruction
3. 'The four horsemen' by Metallica
4. 'Crypts of Eternity' by Slayer
5. 'Clown' by Switchblade Symphony
6. 'Wallflower' by Switchblade Symphony
7. 'Eurydice' by the cruxshadows
8. 'rain within her hands' by bella morte
9. 'arrival' by king diamond
10. 'framing armaggedon' by iced earth
11. 'queen of hearts' by the birthday massacre
12. 'promise me' by the birthday massacre
13. 'blue' by the birthday massacre
14. 'video kid' by the birthday massacre
15. 'poppoea' by theatre of tragedy
16. 'NIB' by Black Sabbath
17 'souls into hades' by lacuna coil
18 'aces high' by iron maiden
19 'rock of ages' by def leppard
20 'obsessive devotion' by epica
21 'the oath' mercyful fate
22 'hell on earth' aslan faction
23 'hellraiser' by suicide commando
24 'destroy everything' by ladytron
25 'vampiria' by moonspell
26 'morphine child' by savatage
27 'Expressions of Flesh' by echoes of eternity
28 'under the sun...' by black sabbath
29 'lady wore black' by queenscryhe'
30 'the sentinal' by judas priest
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Mar. 20th, 2009 @ 10:26 pm word of the day is "mocktroversy"
State of Mind: bored
Haunting the world with: Celtic Frost

I stumbled upon this word in the open dictionary section in m-w.com. ‘Mocktroversy’ which means a false or exaggerated controversy

I wish to demonstrate my understanding of this word with my creative writing below:

The global economic crisis has now impacted professional sports leagues across North America.  League administrators have announced mandatory salary cuts from 2 million to $100000 per year for the average athlete and it will be effective immediately.  Unlike before this decision is final and non-negotiable.  This will severely affect a superstar athlete’s well being, living condition and the industry as a whole.

‘The union rep vowed that all professional athletes will throw a tantrum of the century, and not play another game until their clients get their old annual salary reinstated.  One athlete who asked not to be name has been reported saying "'This is insane, my new salary is well below the poverty line for superstars, there's no way I can maintain my extravagant lifestyles now".

While his teammate has more of a ‘big picture’ perspective as he conceded, ‘this has ramifications not only on our livelihood, but the pot belly fans across the nations as well’. Think about it, with no professional sports on TV indefinitely, these beer guzzling fans will resort to doing more chores around the house, and even worst may take up a physical activity.  I hope we don't end up with a bunch of new and improve lean looking guys once this dispute is settled, then who's going to watch pro sports?

One superstar described the painful ordeal that he is going through with his family in a different way. ‘With such a steep salary cut, I was forced to sell my 5 million dollar mansion, and now I am living in a 3 bedroom, $300,000 home in some god forsaken middle class suburban neighborhood”.  This recession will also be hard on my children too, I don’t know how to explain it to them after all these years that you may have to work for everything you have. And money doesn’t actually grow on trees.  This is not my idea of how to teach children the value of life…”.

And a young superstar offers another view of the fallout of this financial crisis, “I can’t afford to drive recklessly in my $200000 sports car anymore, and now I am stuck with a safety featured laden economy car".  As he is about cry  ” I am so used to ruining other people’s lives...   Worst of all, my sarcastic friend has recently made a documentary about the excess of the professional sports industry called ‘The million dollar cry babies’ I guess he will have to rename it to ‘ the one hundred thousand dollar cry baby’. This has been a very sad day for us all.  I think this is a pretty grim day in pro sports.

 

 


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Mar. 18th, 2009 @ 09:31 pm just in case you are wondering...
Haunting the world with: Epica - 'beyond believe'

Here are Questions and Answers to my user pic

Q: What does it say on the display pic?

A: Wong Fei Hung is FUCKING METAL.

Q: Who is Wong Fei Hung?

A: He is the equivalent of Robin Hood in the Chinese Culture. Like Robin Hood "Hong Kong-liwood" made countless movie of him where he is a super hero fighting injustice by using his extraordinary kung fu skills. The difference is Hong Kong-liwood based their super hero on a real person while there is no evidence that Robin Hood existed.

Q: Really!!? You mean he is not a Chinese superman? So who is the real Wong Fei Hung?

A: Wong Fei Hung is actually a Chinese herbal medicine doctor in his hometown of Futsan (sp?) who also happened to be pretty good at kung fu. He created a couple of new style of martial art as we know it today. Unlike the movies, he mined his own business and stayed out of trouble. 

Q: How do you know all this shit?

A: My great great grandfather is from the same hometown as Wong fei hung. Even if this is not the case, it is like a folklore past down from generation to generation.

Q: So then why is "Wong Fei Hung is Fucking Metal"?

A: I came up with the idea when I was watching the movie called "Magnificent Butcher".  In that movie, they had this old guy portraying Wong Fei Hung, and he was doing these three finger push ups.  I came up with this theory that he was doing these three finger push ups to make himself a better "head banger" so that even if a 200 lb mosher ran into him with a full head of steam; he can still hold up the 3 finger salute for his favourite band. That's when my friend came up with that phrase "Wong Fei Hung is Fucking Metal", and she (aka naked_blue_ninja) created that icon. 

Q: Can you actually do 3 finger push ups

A: Maybe 1 when I am overdosed on painkillers?

Q: Who is that guy in the display pic?

A: According to the person that made that icon that is Wong Fei Hung. I can't confirm that.

Q: Do you look like that?

A: Despite rumours I am not 200 years old.

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